Wednesday, December 1, 2010

S's Story

I haven't posted, because I have nothing nice to say.
I don't want to post pretty crafts that keep me sane.
Or quilts I'm working on.
I want to post about how dysfunctional CPS is. How they preach about how "its all about the child." Even though, the child actually means NOTHING to them. Their careers matter. Keeping the judge happy matters. Keeping other people happy so they aren't bombarded with phone calls they don't want to return matters. But the actual child they are "working" for, no, he's just one more box to check off the list.

S came to us 2 summers ago. From a house he was left at by his mom, who then went to another state. He wasn't related to anyone in this house. Then, CPS removed him and another child from this house and placed them both in foster care. S's mom hoped he would go back to that house eventually and therefore did nothing. Finally, after it appeared that S wouldn't be moving back to that home, his mom decided she may want to work to get him back. See, CPS had said he couldn't live with her because she allowed people into her life that hurt S in crazy scary dispicable ways. CPS kept telling us that S would never go back to his mom. That he would go up for adoption. Not ready for that step, for many reasons, we hoped he would soon be placed in another home that would eventually adopt him. Fast forward to now. Now S has been on 2 long visits to another state with his mom. It appears that he will be moved back with her this winter. Which is odd to me, because she has no job, no drivers license, no car. She lives with her boyfriend at his house. But apparently, that's ok. That's not a big deal to anyone. That she has no way to provide for her son. That if she and her boyfriend break up, she has no where to go. You would think that S's lawyer would care. Do you want to know what he said in court last time we were there? Try this: "S is really good at art." Thanks buddy! That was sooooo helpful. Sooo relevant.
We felt good about the situation back when we thought S would be adopted. We could still maintain contact, our kids could visit with him sometimes. See, our kids are little, and I doubt recall life before S was with us. And now, he is just going to dissapear from their lives. The guy they call brother will be gone to another state never to be seen again. How do you explain that one to a 2 and 3 year old??
After S goes, to wherever the judge sends him, probably back to mom, we are closing our home. I can't do this to my kids. My kids who wait for S to get off the bus everyday. Who can't wait to play with him all weekend. And I can't keep making happy faces at judges and case workers and lawyers who are just plain dumb and lie. And I may just tell them all that when we close our home. I'd rather send money to orphanges in Haiti, than continue to support our dumb system her in NY that should have already had S adopted by a loving family. It's not complicated folks: if you leave your child, and he needs a home, we are giving him one, a permanent one. How can something that simple be so darn complicated??? You want a "do over?" Fine. Make another baby. But you lost this one. Or should I say, you gave this one up?
*End of Rant*

1 comment:

  1. How horrible that must be for you and your family. Reading your post got me so upset. I can only imagine what this is doing to S? How is he coping? Does HE understand what's happening? Poor fella. I totally agree with every single word. God Bless You! Jenn